What you don’t hear much of, in these bite-sized message, is how to do agile. I’m sure the speakers and their organisations know how (though I’m not sure about all the magazine advertisers), but how about the audience? I have visions of some people thinking, “1. Loosen up a bit. 2. ???. 3. Profit!!!!!!”. Hopefully, some of them will do some investigation and learn the how part, but for others, this has the potential to end in tears.

To clarify:

• Agile is not just taking your tie off.
• Agile is not just the manifesto.
• Agile is not just whiteboards.
• Agile is not just programming.
• Agile is not just adding functionality.
• Agile is not just setting up a wiki.
• Agile is not just “we have to try harder”.
• Agile is not just taking your tie off.

Here’s why:

• “Agile is not just taking your tie off” because you need specific technologies, technical skills, and techniques.
• Agile is not just the manifesto, because that’s a set of principles, not a manual.
• “Agile is not just whiteboards” because no-one ever got paid for delivering a whiteboard. (With the obvious exception of whiteboard manufacturers, and it’s also likely some retailers in the corporate sector have made a tidy profit in the whiteboard market.)
• “Agile is not just programming” because it’s also continuous design and testing.
• “Agile is not just adding functionality” because it’s also refactoring existing functionality.
• “Agile is not just setting up a wiki” because it’s the content that counts. (And in any event, use the wall instead of a wiki. Support your local whiteboard manufacturer today.)
• “Agile is not just “we have to try harder” ” because that’s not sustainable, and even if it was, it’s not optimal.
• “Agile is not just taking your tie off.” No, really. Keep it on if you like. It makes no difference. A black polo top doesn’t make you more agile.

(Vaguely inspired by hearing that Dave Weinberger’s going to be talking about what blogging’s not.)

What I like most about Extreme Programming is that it makes the practices explicit, whether you agree with them or not. “Refactor Mercilessly”, “You Ain’t Gonna Need It”, “Test-Driven Design” – they might sound like mindless mantras to the uninitiated, but they actually reflect a lot more concrete, rich, advice than “Chill Out”, “Loosen Up” and “This agile thing’s a breeze … (something about whiteboards) … profit!”.